Whole Lotta Thoughts

I am on a bit of a break from work for the holidays and wanted to use this time to blog a bunch. That hasn't quite happened. But I have had a few blog ideas in my head for a while and just have been too lazy to sit down and write it. Until now!

There are three things I wanted to write about. I finally wanted to post my Challenge statistical analysis of the greatest male and female challenge competitor of all time. That is still in the works. It is going to be epic, and i will not post it until it is ready. Now that Cutthroat is over, I will update my stats and get a better picture on who is the best.

The next thing that I wanted to write about is blog-specific. I have discovered that I have expressed my thoughts on most of the main issues of the show. While I enjoy blogging, when I feel the need to post just for the sake of keeping up with a Real World season, no matter how mediocre it is, the quality of my blogs suffer. Additionally, I have stumbled across a couple of great resources for extra Real World/Challenge information and analysis. They do the same job I have tried to do in a much more casual and free flowing way. This blog was started to comment on bigger Real World-related themes. As such, I have decided I will only post when I truly have a good topic in mind, not just to recap an episode. If something great happens on a season, you can be sure I'll be posting something substantiative. But it likely won't be multiple times a week. Which brings me to the third thing I wanted to write about...

Cuttrhoat Semi Recap

Once again, sorry for the delay in posts. And this one probably won’t make up for it since I’m making this up as I go along. But let’s see just how bad it will be.

Another Challenge season has come and gone, and once again I’m left unsure of how much I enjoyed the season. From the get go, I’ll say I enjoyed it more than most other shows, both scripted and reality. The fact of the matter is that even though the show might not always be “on,” every Wednesday I look forward to watching a new episode. So MTV is still doing something right.

This season certainly had its ups and downs. There was a defining moment (the C.T. appearance) but no real season-defining characters like a Kenny or Wes. Laurel showed to be almost as awful a person as Evelyn (the fact that they are probably the two best female competitors is not a coincidence) and Abram showed that he truly is insane.* I suppose the main storyline this season was the emergence of the young guns. A lot of camera time was given to the rookies this season. While they ultimately did not attain much success (I believe all of the victorious Red team had been on multiple challenges) the collection of green rooks certainly made the season more entertaining. Here were some highlights:

-Brandon getting sent in multiple times, emerging victorious until his final Gulag. He was classy in dealing with it and has set himself up as one of the stronger male competitors in future challenges. He will definitely win one someday.

-Cara Maria was Abram’s equally crazy partner in weird shit. She was on the receiving end of Laurel’s “I’m going to act like Hitler this season” attitude yet still made it to the finale. She also stood up for herself and has a bit of a chip on her shoulder. Me likey.

-Luke is coming into his own. I watched the “S#$% they Should’ve Shown” and he came across as much crazier than in the season. My hope is they start showing more of him and all his creeper behavior. (Seriously, the stuff with Camella was straight weird.)

-Ty being Ty. I love this guy. If I had to put money on who would do the following things, it would be Ty. Get in a fight, get in a fight with a girl, hook up with a guy but not be officially gay, steal another roommates valuables, destroy another roommates valuables, get voted off a Challenge, stalk the house with a knife while everyone was asleep, do something really weird and claim they were just drunk when in fact they weren’t, kill someone, quit a challenge and get offended when they were thrown in, and lose an exile but not accept it and have TJ be forced to call the cops to have them removed from the show.

The rookies were the stars and I view this season as the changing of the guards, in a way. Now that Brad and Dunbar have won a challenge, we might be seeing a bit less of them. I also think Derrick and Johnny might not be on too many more shows. The great thing is CT Is most likely coming back, which will make that season the BEST SEASON EVER!

Later on I’ll post some more random thoughts on this season. Hopefully it will be up later tonight.


* I think Abe is a lot like Gary Busey. Both talk in a relatively calm demeanor most of the team, which lets your guard down to the fact they are batshit insane. Abram was nearly in tears when he walked off the Reunion Show because Big Easy wouldn’t accept Laurel’s apology and MTV had the gall to bring it all up on camera. I think we need to see way more of Abram. What’s his private life like? Explain those tattoos. If there is a spin off show with Abram, sign me up!

When something great happens, we immediately have this need to contextualize it. Usually, we over blow its greatness. This happens in many arenas. The most common is sports. How often have you watched a very good Super Bowl and the next day read sports columnists championing it as “the greatest Super Bowl of all time.” Or what about elections. They can’t all be the most important elections ever. Movies, music, literature; all are susceptible to such hyperbole. So with that in mind, let me ask the question: Was C.T. versus Johnny the greatest moment in reality television history?

My hero, Bill Simmons, first begged the question on his twitter feed. Naturally, it got me thinking. Was it? I was certainly enthralled while watching it live. There was just so much awesomeness in that moment. C.T. chucking Johnny around while they were both sitting on the ground. C.T. literally stomping while carrying Johnny like a backpack. And of course, instead of C.T. pushing the oil drum over, throwing Johnny into it to put an exclamation point on this biggest destruction in challenge history. Here’s a clip!

But despite the greatness of the moment, while watching it, I never thought of it as the greatest moment in reality show history. You’re talking about thousands upon thousands of moments in television history here. Every American Idol, every Survivor, every Flavor of Love. I’m sorry, but there is no way this was greater than any number of moments from those and other shows. Hell, was it even the greatest moment in Real World history? Off the top of my head, here’s some moments I say were better:

Davis calling Tyrie the n-word

Puck getting kicked out

Ryan doing many things (but for sake of argument, calling the cops on a roommate)

Steven vs. Irene

Ruthie driving drunk (and the producers not stopping her, but rather filming her)

So what about best Challenge moment? Hmm, maybe. It was season defining, and especially considering that C.T. wasn’t even a competitor, it makes it even better. But there were other moments I still think were better.

1.Big Easy nearly dying

2. Abram being obvious about throwing the challenge-this is up there for two reasons. First, it was the first instance of one team throwing a challenge, at least to the point that the viewer was in on it. The second was because I was high when I saw that episode and it may have been greater in my mind than in reality.

3. The toga party

4. Any fights

5. Abram/Veronica/Rachel threesome

6. TJ almost fighting Cyrus

Alright, but the moment was still so awesome!! It has to be the greatest something, right? Well, how about greatest C.T. moment? The answer is a resounding maybe. I honestly don’t know if this moment was better than when C.T. punched Adam. That event had just so much. There was the buildup, not just in that episode, but in past seasons, too. The actual fight was a pretty good one. C.T. got a tremendous throw in. Then there is Adam running for his life, literally. Also, we have the producers losing complete control over the show. Unprecedented. This current moment was just a raw display of strength. It was amazing to watch for the athletic component of it. For that 10 seconds, no one in the world could have beaten C.T. But overall, I cannot say it was even the greatest C.T. moment ever.

So then what the eff was it? It has to be the greatest something. Well, ok, I’ll give you one. I fully believe this was the greatest elimination challenge in the history of the show. It had incredible build up, was spanned over two episodes, and involved dominance never before seen. There have been some classic duels on the Challenge, but this was something different. It was so good that everyone was talking about it in the house afterwards. That simply doesn’t happen. This is the place C.T.’s victory belongs; in the annals of great elimination challenges. It was amongst the best Challenge moments, but not the best. It was one of the greatest Real World/Road Rules/Challenge moments, but not the greatest. It was even one of the legendary reality moments, but it was not the most legendary. But that’s ok. Because it’s impact alone is enough. Folks, this is the moment we can all agree on has the biggest impact for all future challenges. This, my friends, is the moment C.T. came back to the Challenge…

C.T.!!!!!!!!!!! Kind of...

I suppose I should have been angry. For weeks upon weeks, I patiently waited for the most charismatic and unpredictable Challenge competitor to be “let out of his cage.” Then, when the moment finally happens, the episode ends. And, to top it off, it is made abundantly clear that he won’t be participating in any further episodes. But when the credits started rolling last Wednesday night, all I could say to myself was “I’m so happy.” And I was. I was genuinely giddy. Because I have no choice to look at C.T.’s cameo on this season as just that; a cameo. An extra, if you will. We didn’t expect C.T. to be on this show, so when it was revealed that he would be appearing, it was simply the perfect extra for a mediocre season thus far. In one 5 minute segment, C.T. just made this season worthwhile. We get an another 5 to 10 minutes next episode, too.

Drawing some sort of parallel between this fleeting moment of greatness for Cutthroat and the Real World franchise as a whole, I think this is indicative on how most of the past 5+ seasons of the Real World have been. For the most part, every Real World season is mundane. Not much happens aside from drunken nights and fights over who didn’t do the dishes. But there almost always is one or two crazy moments that make you overvalue the season. Take Real World: Austin. If you really watch that season, it wasn’t very entertaining. But it had a major moment in Danny getting knocked the eff out* and maybe another when Nehemiah and Wes almost gang-beat Rachel because she was annoying.

* I had always contemplating doing a Profile in Courage on Danny. But he just doesn’t make the cut for me. Still, I have plenty to say on this guy. So let’s use the opportunity to rag on him right here. Danny struck me as the good looking meathead from Boston who seemed to get girls and enjoy the good life while being a douchebag. He’s just one of those guys that you feel angry that he is successful. And Danny did get a very hot Melinda so the anger further stewed. Considering he was on the Real World and was now going to have at least a 10 year window of getting paid to party and drink a ton, suffice it say I felt the world was incredibly unfair for giving such a man a free ride to fun. But the Real World has a way of balancing everything out. Danny gets knocked out on television for millions to see. He spends a significant chunk of the season with a caved in face. Sure he hooks up with Melinda, but he winds up with a hot girl who has a very bland personality and eventually that gets old. Meanwhile, all his roommates are getting with a lot of other girls and enjoying being mini-celebrities in a fun city. Then, he starts appearing on the Challenges. He talks a big game and tries to act like an alpha-male, but there is one glaring problem. He sucks. Seriously, he can’t win a challenge or an exile, he isn’t smart enough to scheme his way to victory, and is easily screwed over by others. Finally, he gets divorced by Melinda, and now he has nothing and likely won’t be invited back on the show. Karma is a bitch, but it works.

But let’s get back to C.T. He walks out with Tina (who winds up losing her first match. Again, why did they pick Tina to be the ringer? What convinced the producers she had that aura?) and you can tell he is in his own world. His eyes are puffy and red and he is swaying back and forth like a rapid polar bear or something. As C.T. says himself “I don’t even know where I am. I just want to be let out of my cage.” He relishes being an animal, a soon-to-be-uncaged beast. Ultimately, this Challenge means little to C.T. He isn’t getting to stay on the show. He is just coming in for a free trip and quick paycheck. Yet he is so intense about the whole thing that you can tell this guy is just insanely competitive and, well…just insane! Perfect for us, the viewer. Would Vegas even put odds on whether C.T. was taking steroids or is it too much of a lock?

Wednesday’s episode will see C.T. fully unleashed. It will be epic. The only potential drawback to having C.T. on the show now is that the rest of the season might just pale in comparison. Kind of like when Ryan was voted out of the New Orleans house. But we’ll just have to watch and see what happens. Either way, I now get to look forward to another episode of the show with gleeful anticipation.

Midseason Report

We are one day away from the continuation of the Challenge: Cutthroat, or as I like to call it, "The One Where C.T. Kills Johnny." I figured it was an appropriate time to assess the season and where the teams are at. I still find it amusing how when I started writing this blog, I thought I would write about the show in context of its social ramifications and the debauchery. However, when writing specifically about the Challenge, it becomes a sports column. I love it!!! This is what you get when a sports fan writes about the Challenge.

Let's begin by admitting this season isn't exceptional in any ways that I can think of. The cast is subpar since only Johnny "Domestic Violence" is around. For those not in the know, Johnny is part of the trifecta known as JEK, or Johnny, Evan, Kenny. The best seasons usually involve at least two of them and also include an adversary who tried to curry support from everyone else to overthrow their rule. It's quite Machiavellian, if Machiavelli played beer pong and made out excessively in hot tubs. This season simply doesn't have that. I surprised, given the three team format, that MTV couldn't get all three and put them on different teams. I think it's obvious that MTV is trying to usher in a new wave of All-Stars, but the Vets aren't done yet. I think MTV needs to treat their competitors just like any other sport. Most of these guys started in their early twenties and are still peaking as they reach their thirties. This is exactly like in regular sports. If Kenny is dominating the Challenge, don't get rid of him. I want to see Kenny on every season!

Aside from Johnny, who are the compelling players? Brad? Sure, he is on a lot of these. But he doesn't stir up drama, especially since he's been wifed up. Ditto for Derrick. The best hope is Abram. But Abram just doesn't have the same qualities that make Johnny and Kenny so compelling. Sure, Abram is crazy. But he is more of the mellow type of crazy who just screams during challenges. He isn't all that conniving. The females have been far more entertaining as they seem to take any slight dis, such as being sent into the Gulag, as the worst thing in the history of the world. Seriously, of all the great injustices perpetrated in the history of the world, the top 3 have to be the Holocaust, slavery, and Laurel being sent into the Gulag over Cara Maria.

With all that said, I can't say this season has been bad. From a competition standpoint, it has been quite entertaining. There is no clear cut favorite out of the three teams. All are pretty evenly matched. With only a few episodes left, here are my thoughts on the teams:

Each team has a strength and weakness. It truly is anyone's game. Let's start with the Blue Team.

They've won 2 challenges. Their team is now Derrick, Johnny, Emily, Jenn, and Theresa. I like it. Two of the best males left on one team and a solid group of ladies. However, they only have two males left. Often, in final challenges that inevitably involve endurance, the guys will carry the ladies for portions of the race. There are only two guys left.If it comes down to an odd balance, I see that really hurting them. Additionally, I'm not so impressed with Jenn's endurance based on previous challenges. And Emily and Theresa are still too new to know what they are going to do. On the plus side, this team has great chemistry. Who would have thought from a team with Johnny on it?

Gray Team:

They've won 3 challenges. They have a good leader in Abram (well, at least people think he is a good leader). They also have Laurel and Sarah, perhaps the two best female competitors in the history of the show. And Cara is no slouch. The negative is they also have only two males left, and one is Luke. Now, I like Luke. I think he is a great competitor for his size. But when parts of the final challenge involve heavy lifting, I think he is going to hurt his team. Laurel will probably have to carry him. Still, the women on this team are just ridiculously strong, so it may not be a big factor. Right now, the biggest X factor is Laurel. She is very pissed at her team and the unity is kind of shot right now. Chemistry is the biggest determinant of success. And this team is starting to lose that chemistry.

Red Team:

They've won 2 challenges. They also have three strong guys in Brad, Dunbar, and Tyler. Tyler is a sleeper in this game because he is perfectly suited for an endurance-based challenge, which the finals always are. Their females are a weak spot, as Tori is average and Paula can't seem to win a challenge to save her life. At least the show is responsible for giving her a boob job. Their biggest problem is team chemistry. Right now they are a mess. But you know what, it seems that they have gotten rid of all the people that caused friction. Actually, they were responsible for causing it, but those people are gone anyway. Let's just say it will be really interesting to see what happens if they lose another challenge. Despite their internal issues, if they keep this current roster intact, I have to say they are the favorites. Wouldn't that be amazing? The losingest team ever winning the whole thing. Brad, Paula, Dunbar all winning on the same team? It could happen.

Of course, this entire evaluation has a HUUUUUUUUGE caveat. That caveat is C.T. (forget Tina. She sucks and I don't know why they are promoting her as some type of game changer). If C.T. joins one team, that teams wins the final. No question. But if they just have him for one competition, then I will seriously slam my fist through my life-size cut out of Kenny. How could they possibly tease CT all season just for him to do one episode?? Let's all pray for the safety of my Kenny doll that this is not the case. I'll see you all after Wednesday's episode.

Please Don't Be Mad

Disclaimer: This is my first non-Real World related post. Now, be forewarned, this is not meant to offend anyone. It is completely, tongue-in-cheek, facetious, and heavy on the hyperbole. So when I say some things, don't take them too literally. This is meant to be either humorous or insightful, nothing more. So don't be hating.

My fiance is Catholic; I'm a non-practicing Jew. When we first started dating, I would occasionally go with her to church. Now, I had maybe been in a Catholic church once in my life. So I was fairly out of my element. So when I went the first time, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. Hell, I wasn't positive the church wouldn't start raining hail as the priest shouted out "There's the Jew!! Unclean!! Unclean!!!" My fiance joked that my horns would probably come out. At least, I hope she was joking. When it was time to kneel, I wasn't sure if that meant me too. But I didn't want to make it obvious that I wasn't Catholic by not kneeling. The only other people who weren't kneeling were those with canes and oxygen tanks. And I unfortunately left mine at home. But if I did kneel, what would my mother say?! First, kneeling. Next, protesting abortion clinics and voting for Carl Paladino. So I played it safe and knelt while keeping my butt on the seat. I figured this would confuse God and he would just shrug and move on.

Eventually, as I became more comfortable going to church, I began feeling more comfortable cracking jokes. For one, as the church struggles to maintain membership, why don't they stop giving out those plain wafers and start passing out those sugar wafers with the cream in the middle. I'd go all the time! (or more likely just buy a box at the supermarket. I mean, c'mon. You get way more and you don't have to sit through an hour of preaching) Well, the fiance didn't appreciate this, mainly because she was cracking up all the time and getting weird looks.

Well, one of the last times I went with her, a congregant was reading a passage. I wasn't sure if it was from the official book or something church-specific. I must point out this was not my fiance's regular church. The passage being read mentioned something about how the Jews were responsible for Jesus' death and that Christians should forgive them. At the time, I was kind of pissed since it was historically inaccurate and also fostered antisemitism. But the more I thought about, I was more upset by the another fact. Catholics (presumably) believe that Jesus was supposed to die for man's sins and that this was absolutely necessary for the salvation of the human race. If they believe that the Jews were responsible for this happening, then we shouldn't be forgiven; we should be thanked!! I mean, what a solid we did! The Jews indirectly saved humanity. For thousands of years, we Jews have been persecuted for killing Jesus. In actuality, we should have been honored by parades. In a fair world, Good Friday should be a day of praise for the Jews. I say we change it from Good Friday to Good Jewy Friday and celebrate it with some knishes.

So if you are Jewish and someone comes up to you yelling about you killing Jesus (probably happens in the South. I don't know, what's the situation in Europe right now?) instead of getting offended and deny it, simply say "you're very welcome! Are you going to get me anything for Good Jewy Friday? You kind of owe me."

That, my friends, is my take on religion. And yes, this is what you can expect to read when I'm not talking Real World.

And now, the conclusion of.....A New Direction

Part 2


Perhaps for the only time in this blog's history, I will discuss Camilla. To be fair, this won't be as much about Camilla as it is about how she got shafted by the illogical strategy employed by the "veterans."

Camilla was from this odd Spring-Break themed mini season of the Challenge. I don't really know what the point of that was. All I remember was seeing Kenny and Rachel on MTV and thinking they got jobs as VJ's (which would have made sense for Kenny, not so much Rachel). Camilla was the rookie so naturally she was going to be sent into the Gulag every single time, no matter how good she performed. While I don't agree with the logic of sending in your young, strong teammates, it is what is. However, when Brad is telling you you are going in because you have to "prove yourself," I don't know, it seems a bit disingenuous.

Now Camilla did not appreciate this logic, especially when she kept getting sent in and coming back. For some reason, the Red Team did not appreciate her canoodling with Johnny "Domestic Violence." They felt she was forming an alliance with him. Um, what? How could she possibly form an alliance with Johnny, who was not on her team and had no power to keep her out of a Gulag? The odd thing was not that Brad came up with this awesome display of logic, but that the rest of the team bought into it's rationale. Normally, when such things occur, I go off on how it doesn't make any sense. But I've resigned to simply sigh and shake my head now. It saves me a lot of aggravation.

One thing I still can't overlook, though, is how Camilla just took it in front of her team when they were just laying into her. To others, she was understandably angry. But when Brad and Tori were saying how she was a weak performer and not trustworthy, she just took it. If that's me, here's what I have to say:

"Ok, team. I look around and I see a collection of players with 24 seasons between them and only 1 victory. It seems no one here has really ever "proven" themselves. You all talk a big game and act like real hard ass vets, but you all kind of suck on these challenges. Just think about that when you call me weak. I also think it's odd that you question my loyalty for hanging out with Johnny. Last I checked, he has no bearing on whether or not I can stay out of the Gulag or win the whole Challenge. I have an incentive to not throw challenges, mainly the $20,000 our team gets for winning. What would my incentive be for allying with Johnny? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by this logic from a group with a 1-23 record in challenges. Then you say I'm untrustworthy? But didn't I tell Brad that I voted for him, in essence being completely straightforward? So how about you cut the bullshit and say the real reason I'm going in. From being on two dozen challenges, you all became friends and decided that you wouldn't vote for one another and would send home teammates you didn't know. I could understand that, despite believing that is awful strategy. But instead you insult my intelligence to my face. Especially coming from Brad, who couldn't even spell at a fourth grade level, that is crazy. So go ahead and send me in. I knew I probably wasn't making the finals regardless. But before I go, I want to share this fact with you. I'm barely in my twenties and probably won't do too many more of these. Brad, Paula, Tyler? You're all near thirty and still doing this. Seriously, you all need to reevaluate things. At some point, MTV is going to stop calling, and then what? Nothing sadder than a 40 year old at a college bar. Peace, go Yankees!"

I was going to write more but that last paragraph says what I need to say. I just wish Camilla had said it instead of me. Alas. Looks like there is a two week break in the show. And then? C.......................................................T..................................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!