There is an old adage which everyone knows that goes "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Of course, there is another adage coined by Michael Scott that goes "Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three." Both are lessons that your average Real Worlder never bother to heed.
A little back story: In this season, there are two main alliances; the Wes/Evelyn Alliance and the Kenny alliance. Every other episode, especially last nights, consists of a member of the Wes/Ev alliance getting thrown in, completely surprising them. We all know that these aren't rocket scientists we are dealing with, after all they are all RR/RW alumns. But surely they must have seen and/or participated in enough of these things to know that they shouldn't trust Wes and Evelyn. Yet time and time again, the same thing happens.
In the context of these challenges, Wes and Evelyn are head and shoulders the most manipulative and underhanded players. They are also cowards who would never step up to go into an Exile or Duel or Inferno or Gauntlet or Orgy or Newsie riot or Jello wrestling pit with two fat chicks. Simply put, they are not smart, not brave, and most of all, not true leaders. So why do people keep following them? They aren't even consistent winners! Last night's episode validated my opinions on them completely:
Kenny's alliance, which included Pete ( a brand new Fresh Meat cast member) and Jillian (RW: Extreme who also put in a heroic performance in Gauntlet 3) found themselves in the driver's seat by winning the challenge. It seemed fairly clear that the smart play was to put one of the two into exile and then garner enough votes to send the other in against them. However, knowing that they were likely headed in, Wes and Evelyn corner Kenny and make a temporary alliance to throw in CJ and Landon's teams. Now, both teams are strong teams comprised of "good guys" who go along with the flow but generally do the right thing. But they made a clear tactical mistake by allying themselves with a couple of rats. Kenny's alliance wasn't too pleased, but here is the kicker; He convinces them that this was a great move because it now takes two teams off of Wes' alliance (CJ's team because they lost, and Landon's team because he was betrayed by Wes/Evelyn). This was a good play, don't get me wrong. The funny part is there is no way in hell Kenny understood the positive ramifications from this move until way after.
Here's what you need to know about Kenny, and every other cast member. They are all morons, but they don't think it. At some point during a given season, all of the so called "players" in the game will make the following statements about the people supposedly running the game
1. Player X is a moron- this is uttered many times an episode and is used to call out someone who made a bad move. Of course that is the blackest pot calling the kettle black. Everyone on this show at multiple points has done something stupid, so let's all calm down. You are all stupid, none of you play the game well, and you should all just be thankful you get paid to not have a real job or life.
2. I can't believe these morons are running the game- It's comments like this that make me just shake my head. Most of the time it is Evelyn saying that. It's supposed to make us believe the crazy ones are running the asylum, when in fact they are just playing the game better than you. They are surely morons, but maybe within the confines of this game, they are the better morons, the Corey Feldman to your Corey Haim.
I will say this is one of the better seasons from a strategic standpoint. There are alliances, double crossings, and actual smart plays. Kenny coming out of nowhere with an ingenious move to destroy the Wes/Ev alliance! What great politics! Karl Rove and Rahm Emmanuel ain't got nuttin' on Kenny Santucci from New Jersey! (The sad thing is I'm willing to bet more 18 year olds know Kenny than Karl Rove or Rahm Emmanuel. Who am I kidding? I'm writing a blog about him!)
It makes you scratch your head how these veterans don't seem to understand how to play the game. So in the event that some future Challenge members stumble upon this literary masterpiece, I have taken it upon myself to educate them as to how this game should be played.
The game is all about alliances, everyone knows. The problem most people have in these shows is they are so willing to be a part of an alliance that whoever asks them first gets them. If someone you know is untrustworthy asks you to be in an alliance, assume at some point they will try to screw you. Sometimes, you have no shot from the get go. If you are a crap competitor, you will get thrown into the elimination challenge because no one is afraid of going against you. So the first rule to winning these challenges is:
1. Be strong enough to win an elimination challenge. At the very least people won't want to throw you in because you very well could come back and throw them in. Or depending on the game format, you could choose them to go in against you. However, this is not enough alone. Just because you are strong does not mean you'll never get thrown in. You also must follow rule number 2.
2. Play the game with some level of morality and project a "good guy" persona that people respect. There are quite a few players who combined these first two rules and rarely got thrown into the elimination challenge. Derek from RR: X-Treme is a good example. Although, am I the only one that is pissed off they called that season "X-Treme?" They couldn't just add an "e" at the beginning?
Derek is respected as a strong competitor who plays the game right. Translation, no one wants to throw him in or go against him, yet because he is trustworthy, they don't think he'll screw them over. He has won 3 of 8 challenges. Not too bad. Darrell from RR: Campus Crawl has won 4 out of 6, and he is another trustworthy, strong competitor. But sometimes being a strong competitor is not enough. You need to play the game by joining an alliance. But what do you do once you join? Well, I'll tell you, just chill out, ok? Rule number 3 coming up!
3. Form an alliance within the alliance. This never happens, and I don't see why. The most conniving, yet dominant cast members in recent years are Kenny, Johnny Bananas (RW: Key West, and really a disgusting misogynistic human being, but more on that another time. For now, he is Bananas!), Evan "Steroids" from Fresh Meat, Wes, and Evelyn.
For some reason, everyone accepts that these people will be the leaders and call the shots. Sometimes they fight against each others and form competing alliance. So fine, let's also accept that they will try to run the show. But let's also assume there is a player who is strong enough to win an elimination, but also trustworthy and relatively smart. This player must join an alliance, and should try to join the stronger alliance if more than one exists. Don't ask to join the alliance, but make it known you are interested. The worst thing you can do is choose not to join any alliance, and thus you are all on your own. You might survive one or two eliminations, but eventually you'll get taken down.
Here's where you run the game. Generally, the alliance will have a few members or teams that are not so strong but aren't douche bags (relatively speaking). They won't like being controlled by the bigger douches, but would rather that then not be in the alliance. Eventually they know deep down they will get screwed over since only a certain amount of members make it to the final challenge. (If you ever find yourself in an alliance with some combination of Kenny, Johnny, Wes, Evan, Evelyn, or anyone else who are good friend with each other, you aren't making it to the end) So what you do is you form an alliance within the alliance with the members of the alliance that are not in the inner circle.
On the Island, which was possibly the best season strategically, there was a large alliance headed by Kenny and Johnny. There were only four spots for the boat to get off the island and win the prize. Paula was a part of the alliance and thought she was golden. At the last minute, Kenny and Johnny cut a deal with Evelyn to save Johnny and put Evelyn in the boat assured of winning. Paula was used to vote out other people until it was time to get rid of her. She screwed up by trusting untrustworthy people.
So what should someone do? They should form an alliance with marginal members of the larger alliance and make sure that no one in that alliance gets voted in. Then when the head of the alliance decides to have everyone vote in a member of the alliance, the mini alliance turns on the leader, throws them in, and the head of the mini alliance now assumes control. You want to control the game, but you want to pick your moment to seize that control so that you don't paint a bullseye on your back like the previous guy did.
I think this is pretty simple, but will likely not be followed. But the blueprint is here for anyone to succeed, unless they like following Johnny Bananas. Which is fine. Just remember he probably beats women up. Probably.
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