Official Cast List for the Challenge: Cutthroat

Here is the official cast list for the latest installment of the Challenge: Cutthroat. Personally, I'm a little disappointed with this cast, although I'm always a fan of the guys/girls format. I think a Challenge can't be great unless it has at least 3 of the following people: Evelyn, Evan, Johnny "Domestic Violence", CT, Kenny, and Wes. This only has Johnny. The wild card is Abram, who is essentially the same as Wes. I'm interested to see if the top secret format of the show can make this season a great one.

According to Wikipedia:

Male Players[3] Original Season Abram Boise RR: South Pacific Brad Fiorenza RW: San Diego Brandon Drake Nelson Fresh Meat II Chet Cannon RW: Brooklyn Dan Walsh RR: Viewers' Revenge Derek Chavez RW: Cancun Derrick Kosinski RR: X-Treme Dunbar Flinn RW: Sydney Eric Banks Fresh Meat J.D. Ordoñez RW: Brooklyn Johnny Devenanzio RW: Key West Luke Wolfe Fresh Meat II Ty Ruff RW: Washington D.C. Tyler Duckworth RW: Key West Vinny Foti Fresh Meat II

Female Players[4] Original Season Ayiiia Elizarraras RW: Cancun Camila Nakagawa Spring Break Challenge 2010 Cara Maria Sorbello Fresh Meat II Emilee Fitzpatrick RW: Cancun Emily Schromm RW: Washington D.C. Jenn Grijalva RW: Denver Katie Doyle RR: The Quest Laurel Stucky Fresh Meat II Mandi Moyer Fresh Meat II Melinda Stolp RW: Austin Paula Meronek RW: Key West Sarah Rice RW: Brooklyn Shauvon Torres RW: Sydney Theresa Gonzalez Fresh Meat II Tori Fiorenza RR: Viewers' Revenge

The Challenge: Cutthroat!!!

I guess I was slightly wrong when I posted a spoiler about the upcoming season of the Challenge. It's not called Gauntlet 4, but rather Cutthroat. Very intriguing. Well, they posted a real spoiler clip. I gotta say, there's going to be a lot of cursing on this season. I wonder why they chose to have their first clip of the show full of curses. Maybe to show how cutthroat it's going to be? Either way, I'm more excited than a fat kid at the State Fair.

The Challenge: Cutthroat Preview

The fall can't get here soon enough.

The Feeder System

It's a Tuesday and I'm riding the train to work while listening to the "B.S. Report with Bill Simmons" as I'm one to do. I love Simmons, which if you've consistently read my blog, you would know. Today, he has on Dave Jacoby, the czar of reality television, and they are discussing a little bit of everything. Eventually they start discussing the current season of The Real World. I perk up. After all, I'd be lying if I said that I don't get good material for the blog from Simmons and Jacoby.

Jacoby made the point that Jemmye was the best prospect for the Challenge. Let me elaborate what I mean by prospect. I have contended, as have Simmons and Jacoby, that the Real World is a feeder system for the Challenge. It is the minor leagues, and the Challenge is the majors. It makes sense. Think of this roster: Tonya, Mike "The Mizz," Coral, Jenn (RW Denver) Johnny "Domestic Violence," Puck, Tyler, C.T. All were above average on their season and TJ Lavined it on the Challenges. When you're watching the Real World, you need to be aware of who would make for good competitors on the Challenge. Because let's face it. Most people on the Real World kind of suck. Sure, when they are one of 7 or 8 people, they will have their moments. But put them with 20 other huge personalities, they get sucked up like cocaine in the 80's.

So I've been looking closely at this season and am ready to give my thoughts on who would make the best Challenge contestant.

1. Jemmye- At first, she was not my #1 choice. But I failed to take into account a huge factor; longevity. Jemmye could last in the game a long time. Here's why. She's clearly a fun girl who probably won't make too many female enemies (unless she has sex with someone and immediately starts throwing drinks at any other girl who talks to her man). Also, she seems reasonably athletic.

Jemmye also has great drunken antic potential. She is a complete mess when drunk and has a lot of emotional baggage that brings awesome freak-outs into play for when the game gets "real." She also isn't above a lesbian angle either. Jemmye has to be the top prospect because she is as much a sure thing as any other cast member, now and in the past. Also, her ceiling of entertainment is extremely high, and she could do fairly well in the competition.

2- Ryan- Simmons and Jacoby completely disagree with me on this one (although they don't know they disagree since they don't know I am even mentioning them). They are of the opinion that Ryan won't last longer than an episode and thus is not a factor in the Challenge. I strongly disagree. I think Ryan in one episode can define the season. Can you pick another person who goes against the current theme of competitors more than Ryan? Can you imagine him and Kenny getting into it? Ryan looks like he doesn't have an athletic bone in his body, which could actually work to his benefit. If the competition allows for it, he may be saved by the opposition because he is a detriment to his own team. Bottom line in Ryan creates more drama than almost any other cast member in Real World history. Throwing him in with a bunch of juiced-up Alpha males is going to get him beaten to a pulp, which many would surely enjoy.

3- Knight is a prototypical Challenge cast member. He's a big midwestern guy who played a sport and is an alpha male. He is good with the ladies but can say some pretty offensive things. Sound a lot like Kenny. Well, he's not going to be Kenny. No one can. Like I've said before, I think he is more like Johnny "Domestic Violence." Both were upper level talents on their season, but not outright stars. Both weren't, at the time, insanely jack, but had similar builds. Both were assholes, bordering on abusive. Johnny crossed over on the Challenges, and there is no reason to think Knight won't follow. I think he has great upside, but is not a guarantee. He needs to keep practicing and maintain focus, and maybe, just maybe, he'll reach the same heights as Johnny "Domestic Violence."

4- McKenzie- Anytime you have a hot girl, she has enormous potential. Add in black out drunk and magic happens. McKenzie may not wind up being the greatest Challenge cast member, but she will a pretty high floor. My guess is she at least another Casey; super cute girl with no athletic ability but stays on the show long enough to get drunk and have an innocent hook up. It really is sad that this girl's innocence will be taken by Kenny or Johnny or, god forbid but likely, Wes. I think her ceiling is hooking up with another guy's man while drunk and making many enemies in the process. I'm intrigued.

5-Preston- Plusses: He is an outgoing, flamboyant gay guy. He causes a lot of drama. He can be packaged with Ryan as a dynamic duo of gay/closeted gay. Minuses: He does not seem to have any athletic value to any team. Skinny gay guys tend not to do well in Challenges and get overshadowed. Verdict: Preston does one Challenge and gets eliminated the first or second episode, never to be seen again.

6. Sahar/Eric- Here's the only thing about Sahar and Eric: they both seem athletic enough to advance into the middle of the show. If this purely based on athletic ability, then they would be on the Challenge. Unfortunately, they are barely on the Real World. So let's pray they don't get on the show.

8. Ashlee-Athletically she could do really well. And she is annoying enough to cause some friction in the house so she actually has some upside. But god i hate her.

Alright, so a new episode in a couple of days. Let's hope this season keeps up the momentum.

Power Rankings Week 7?

Not sure what week we are up to but it shouldn't matter too much. Before I begin, I have just discovered that VH1 is airing The Challenge: Fresh Meat 2 marathon. Could it be that they may also begin airing older seasons? I'm am giddy with excitement, now onto the Power Rankings!

1. Knight- Yeah, that's right. Knight has overtaken Ryan this past week. I was debating if he warranted taking away the top spot from arguably the greatest male cast member in years. I mean, Ryan has been so consistently good throughout the season that it seemed implausible that he could ever be overtaken. But the funny thing about Knight is he has really become the focal point of the show, amazing as that seems. His relationship with Jemmye has become bigger than Ryan's various issues. Ryan may have burned out too soon. After all, where can anyone go from the "toothbrush" episode but down?

Knight has been a consistent second best every episode, slowly creeping up on Ryan, ready to pounce as soon as Ryan slipped. And Ryan slipped just enough last episode while Knight had one of his best episodes. Suddenly, Knight is the #1 guy.

Knight showed himself to be a true asshole, not really a good person at all. The stuff he said to Jemmye, knowing she had been abused by a previous boyfriend, is just ridiculous. He also was really giving it to Sahar, crossing the line when he threw the fact that Sahar's boyfriend cheated on her in her face. The best part of it all was everyone giving him a pass because that's just how he is. He kids around and says offensive things, but that's just Knight being Knight. What a cop out. Knight knows exactly what he says is wrong and something a douchebag says. With all that said, Knight was extremely compelling and thus good for tv. Folks, I cannot stress this enough. We don't watch the show to see people being good human beings. Ryan is an homophobic asshole but he is damn entertaining. Eric is a good guy but dull as fuck.

#2 Ryan- Ryan had very little face time, and the fear is he has already peaked. But even when he has an off episode, he still provides some entertainment. This week, he threw up after daring Knight to eat a bug. It was so good the clip was featured on "The Soup." I think Ryan will eventually regain his #1 spot. hopefully this is a good wake up call for him.

#3 Jemmye- This week we learned Jemmye has some MAJOR issues stemming from her abusive relationship from the past. The way she just took Knight's verbal abuse was scary (Folks, don't worry about Knight not ever facing the consequences of his actions here. I'm willing to bet good money he gets arrested down the line for some crime, and I assure you assholes have a way of getting theirs in prison. Hehe, that was funny on a couple levels). But while Jemmye was certainly entertaining, you just didn't feel good about watching her. It was upsetting, and I've come to expect less from the show than dealing with real serious issues like this. Thank god Knight ate that bug to lighten up the mood.

#4-McKenzie- She illustrates the necessity to separate personal feelings for a cast member from entertaining value. As a person, she sucks. In this week's episode, she came very close to hooking up with Knight, which you do not do to another roommate. But she very well could hook up with him later in the season. If she does, it will make for absolutely phenomenal television. Because the seeds were planted this episode, McKenzie gets the 4 spot.

#5-Sahar- Finally Sahar has a good episode. She was heavily involved in a fight with Knight that showed she had spunk and some character. Then she got into it with Jemmye since Jemmye told Knight that Sahar's kinda-boyfriend slept with someone else. To her credit, Sahar confronted Jemmye about it right away, causing some good drama in the house, albeit short-lived. Methinks this ranking will also be short-lived. Zing!

#6 Preston -Preston didn't do much of anything, which explains the slip to #6. He has been getting on my nerves, personally, and I hope it doesn't affect my ranking of him. But when you don't bring it, it's gonna hurt you.

#7 Eric- I want to put this guy higher. I always envisioned him as another Jacquese, a great role player who could add comedic value to other people's storylines. But Eric has simply been non existent. It's funny to think that he is actually the missing link to this being the greatest season ever, but right now, he is.

#8 Ashlee- Every season, it seems I genuinely hate a cast member. I don't know if I've hated someone as much as her, however. There is something about Ashlee I just can't stand. I think it's how she chooses to involve herself in everyone else's issue, yet contributes absolutely nothing of value herself. Last week was a perfect example. She accompanies Jemmye to the Women's Shelter for Abused Women. Now, on the surface, she appears to just be supporting her friend. But she is always there, every time. It's getting ridiculous. She doesn't care about helping her friend as much as being the person who can say "I care. I need to be the one to go with you so this becomes a drama I can be a part of." I hate those people. Is there anything even remotely interesting about Ashlee? She isn't fun, isn't attractive, and doesn't shut up about things that don't concern her. Translation: She needs to hook up with a chick.

Looking forward to tonight's episode, let's hope Jemmye channels her inner Snookie tonight.

"Profiles in Courage: Tonya Cooley"

As you all know, I love the Challenge. It is the best and worst of reality television, and has proved to be a superior product to the show that spawned it, the Real World. But I must apologize to you all for a glaring oversight. You see, when I first wrote about why I love the show, I omitted the number 1 reason for the Challenge’s greatness.

Tonya Cooley.

Hear me out on this one. What makes the Challenges so amazing is how they can bring out the inner demons in everyone, whether it be one’s inner drunk, inner slut, or inner animal. On a few occasions, it successfully brings out every sing inner demon someone might have. In essence, it can ruin a person. And that person is Tonya. So for this installment of “Profiles in Courage” we look deep into the inner workings of Tonya and pinpoint what has made her so endearing to our hearts. In case you don’t have time to read all of this, here is the cliff note version: she is all kinds of crazy.

“Profiles in Courage: Tonya Cooley”

I’ll admit I was in love with Tonya Cooley. It was 2002, I was beginning college, and it was a confusing time in my life. I tell myself that’s why I fell for her and defended her against her “evil” roommates who were clearly just out to judge her and make fun because they were jealous of her awesomeness (I realize now that 18 year old me equated fake boobs with awesomeness). Looking back on it, it made no sense. Tonya was everything I despised in a Real Worlder, with the exception that she was attractive. I also can look back with hindsight and numerous examples of questionable behavior on subsequent Challenges to make her appear less attractive.

The seeds of crazy were present on the Real World: Chicago, but they were dormant. Tonya simply seemed like a small town girl who couldn’t separate herself from her roots, namely her boyfriend Justin. She spend almost all of her time on the phone with him and never bonded with the rest of the house. Tonya was clearly out of her comfort zone, as made evident by her comments on never interacting with black and gay people, and most likely Jews as well (which made Aneesa, a black, half- Jewish lesbian a real issue for Tonya). But I think the most frustrating part about Tonya was her medical problems. I don’t think she was completely faking her kidney problems. But it seemed to be a major issue for her any time she felt homesick or didn’t feel like doing something with the rest of the house. I think many of us have dealt with a person like that. They were extremely annoying or anti-social, and we really wanted to call them out on it, except there was something that just barely justified their behavior. I’m sure the other housemates wanted to call out Tonya on all her crap, but were held back because her medical problems seem just legitimate enough.

That should have been it with Tonya. She was supposed to go down as another cast member who shouldn’t have been one, like Erika from DC or Frankie from San Diego. But then a funny thing happened. Tonya dumped her boyfriend and went on a Challenge. She subsequently spiraled out of control, becoming a whore, alcoholic, and probable druggy. Her behavior became so erratic on these shows that she must have been on some serious prescription drugs.

After the Real World, Tonya had quite the illustrious career. This included the many Challenges, acting in a crappy VH1 produced movie starring other reality stars, posing for Playboy, and even performing in a low budget Scinemax soft-core porn movie. A total 180 from how she was on Real World: Chicago. As usual, I have a theory on what the hell happened to Tonya:

-So, Tonya was fairly poor and needed a lot of help paying for medical bills. In addition, being on the Real World did not help her land stable work. Her relationship with her certain-to be fiancé ended, and she needed money. So she decided to try her hand at a Challenge. On her first Challenge, she actually performed pretty well. But she also ignited some controversy by being one of the only cast members not to attend Puck’s wedding. She now had a niche and the producers had a reason to keep inviting her onto these shows. In addition, having broken up with her boyfriend and not having a good stable relationship to keep her out of trouble, she found herself partying with the other cast members. She started developing connections, except these were connections based on a game show and booze. Never good.

Since she now was becoming a regular on Challenges, she also had to supplement that with going to clubs and promoting (If you do Challenges regularly, you cannot hold down a stable job. Companies don’t like it when you take 4 month vacations). This led to even more drinking. She also must’ve developed a drug problem. It makes sense since she probably was still on medication for her kidney problems. Combine that with alcohol and you’ve got one hot mess. –

So how does one go from a wholesome girl from Walla Walla with a nice boyfriend to passed out in a taxi in Mexico with lipstick on everyone except your lips? The X factor here is the Challenge. If Tonya never gets invited on the Challenge, everything else fails to materialize. If you look at a lot of the other All-Stars from various Challenges, you’ll notice that they weren’t as gregarious when they were on their Real World season. Being on a Challenge gives you an odd sense of entitlement and confidence. Your inner asshole is free to come out. The other point is that since producers can always mix the cast up, there is a further incentive to act crazier and brasher than the year before. I mean, if it wasn’t for the Challenges, Johnny from Key West might not wind up beating his significant other.

Of course, it isn’t all fun and games. Watching the sideshow that is Tonya is ultimately sad and depressing. For all the baggage she came into the Real World with, she was still just a small town girl with a loving boyfriend who was looking for a new experience in a big city. Now look at her. Divorced, an alcoholic and possible drug addict, used up, a joke for all around her. There doesn’t seem to be a solid support system amongst her fellow Challenge cast members, the people she hopes to be friends with.

But, we have to take a light hearted view of the situation. The reality is a bit too unfortunate. And we also have to assume people like Tonya are eventually going to right the ship, that this behavior was going to manifest itself anyway, and at least that they are making more money than if they had a normal career.

So I choose to honor Tonya for all she has brought to our lives, not agonize over the tragedy that is her. I will speak fondly of the time she threw Beth’s clothing into the pool or the time she assaulted Veronica. I will wax poetically of Tonya dressing up as a wacked out quasi-prostitute with smeared lipstick for Halloween and me not knowing for a good 5 minutes that it was actually her costume and not just Tonya being Tonya.

For to be Tonya is to be brave. To make a series of calamitous life decisions and constantly embarrass yourself on national television takes a huge set of balls. Or huge pair of fake breasts. Tonya is brave, to be sure, and especially courageous. So let it be that she is most deserving of a “Profile in Courage.”

P.S. So what ever happened to her boyfriend, Justin? He's got to be the luckiest guy in America to avoid marrying that land mine.

New Post Coming Tomorrow

Just in case anyone was wondering, I will have a new post up tomorrow. It will be a "Profile in Courage" like I promised.

On another note, a couple of people have posted comments in the comments section. Thank you very much! Again, it is very important for you all to provide feedback so I can improve on this blog. I changed the features to allow non-google account members to post. Even if you don't want to leave your name, that is fine. You do not have to provide any info to leave a comment.

Alright, enough requesting. I'll see you all tomorrow.

Facebook Link Fixed

Hey everyone,

I fixed the broken Facebook fan page link on the left. Be sure to become a fan of the blog on my facebook page, which I'll also link here

The "Epic" Episode

We were teased with it even before the show premiered. There were news reports about it. And two weeks ago, the stage was officially set for it. So finally, the "Epic' episode appeared this past Wednesday.

This was the episode where Ryan called the cops on his roommate, Preston, because Preston peed on Ryan's toothbrush. Preston was nearly hauled down to the station over this (which, as Knight explained, he might not have minded going to prison) and Ryan got his final revenge. Except he didn't. More on that in a bit.

What goes on inside a person's head where they resort to doing something so ridiculous and reactionary as calling the police because someone played a prank on you? Well, after a handful of episodes, it is clear no one knows what is going on inside Ryan's brain, and maybe that's a good thing. I don't think we've ever come this close to a cast member murdering his roommates. And would anyone truly be surprised if he did?

A lot of people hate Ryan, with good reason. He is the ultimate bad guy. The things he does fly in the face of social norms and conduct. But it's for that exact reason why he is such a compelling character and why we are so lucky for him to have come into our lives. If Ryan wasn't so insane, then we don't have him beefing with Preston, and we don't have cops coming to the Real World house. This is win-win for us as the viewer. The only people negatively affected by Ryan's behavior are his roommates and "Suze" (when she sees this show, how is she going to explain to her friends and family how she could hook up with "Sweeney Todd" lite?).

The funny thing is I can kind of talk myself into justifying what Ryan did as much as I can explain why it made no sense. First off, Ryan isn't a fighter. He clearly has never been in a fight and is afraid to get punched. Second, he knows that if he fights, he leaves. And then Preston wins. Now, Ryan has only two options. Retaliate against Preston by destroying something he owns or peeing on Preston's toothbrush or figure out a way to get Preston to apologize and rectify the situation. He decides to do both, which is important to note. I'll explain why in a bit. After ruining Preston's beanie, he calls the cops. This is certainly an insane thing to do to someone you live with, but he legitimately could have thought he had no other option. After all, peeing on someone else's toothbrush is seriously fucked up.

Here's the amazing part of Ryan's plan: It actually completely worked. The cops came and put the fear into Preston. Preston eventually apologized to Ryan, which is what he ultimately wanted. Additionally, it was never found out that Ryan wiped his ass with Preston's cigarettes (arguably as bad as peeing on a toothbrush) destroyed his hat, or through out his debit card (that actually could have lead to far worse legal problems for Ryan). So win-win for Ryan.

The main negative to calling the cops is it makes you look like a huge douchebag to the other roommates. But honestly, I don't think Ryan cares. He firmly believes he was completely right. This is where the sociopath thing comes into play. Only a sociopath would not understand that wiping your ass with someone else's cigarettes is about as bad as them peeing on your toothbrush. Sahar saw this and tried calling him out on it. But Ryan just didn't get it. It didn't even enter his mind that the cops could be called on him if it ever got relayed to Preston what he did. In Ryan's world, his actions have no consequences and are completely justified, but others actions are incomprehensibly bad.

One last point to make. The following day after the cops came, Ryan hugs Preston and they eventually squash their beef. Later on, Preston can't find his debit card. Ryan admits to Knight that he threw it away, and was proud to do it. This was after Preston apologized. Ryan is seriously fucked up in the head. I think MTV needs to do this more. Every season, try to find one potential cast member who has a couple of screws loose. Make sure he won't actually kill anybody, but aside from that, it's ok. He/she will undoubtedly make the season more interesting.

So now that the "Epic" episode has come and gone, how does it compare to other big episodes in the history of the show. Well, I don't think any other season had as much build up to a confrontation as this season. From episode 1, it was clear this was a long time coming. Other seasons the big confrontation was kind of impulsive. For example, remember Real World Denver when Davis shouted the n-word towards Tyree. Right now I think that's the best comparison. The only problem was the Denver episode only had about 2 scenes devoted to the big blowup. This blowup was a good 3/4 of the episode. Also, you could make the case that the episode a few weeks back where Ryan called Preston a f@$$tt was almost as bad as the Denver episode. I know there are other good examples, so if anyone wants, please comment with the season you think had a better "epic" episode.

Perhaps the best part of the episode was the preview for the rest of the season. We find out that:

1. Knight and McKenzie may hook up, and Jemmye will definitely hit Knight multiple times. Man, if McKenzie does that, she has to go down as one of the most hated female cast members ever, right? I also predict Knight manages to get a pass on this somehow while Jemmye and MTV viewers direct all their anger at McKenzie.

2. Sahar and Ryan may hook up, which may be the reason Eric tried to kill Ryan. I don't understand how this can happen. I mean, Sahar lives with Ryan, right? She knows how creepy and weird he is. He also may be gay. If she hooks up with him, this will make every normal guy who is into a hot girl that is dating a complete douchebag (whether it be the goth douche, the lead singer douche, the motorcycle douche, the emo douche, or the uber-alpha male frat douce) just go "ugh."

If they hook up, it also represents the breaking of the guy code. The guy code states that if your friend/roommate likes a girl and it is known to you, she becomes off-limits. The only exceptions are if you talk to the guy first and he gives the ok or the guy starts getting with someone else. It also would be odd if Sahar was telling Eric no because of the boyfriend but then said yes to Ryan. After all, she has explicitly said she was attracted to Eric.

I apologize for the scattering of thoughts in this post, but that's just what happens when so much goes on in what is most certainly an "Epic" episode.

"Profiles in Courage" will be delayed while I collect my brains

Ok, so I planned on another "Profile in Courage," which I know you all love more than rainbows. But after last night's episode, I have to put the column on hold. Hopefully tomorrow I should have a column up tomorrow and a "Profile in Courage" a couple days after that. Sorry for the delay, but I hope it will be worth the wait.

Power Rankings: Back To New Orleans Week 5

So the plan was to have this post up last night. Then my cat walked on my laptop and somehow managed to turn the computer off. When I went to restart it, it wouldn't boot. Only the following morning did I realize the battery died because I plugged in the wrong adapter. My bad everyone.

I think we're on week 5. Oh well. This past week saw Jemmy get the cold shoulder from her basketball playing ex-boyfriend and a temporary cessation in hostilities in the Gay/Gay? war of 2010...for now! And apparently other people were in the house too. On to the Power Rankings!!

1. Ryan- Here's what I love about Ryan. He makes amends with Preston for the second time this season and 5 minutes later blatantly admits he faked his truce. He still hates Preston and it is most definitely still on. Other than that, a bit of a down episode for Ryan. Not enough to knock him off the pedestal.

2. Jemmye- Jemmye really shined this episode. She clearly wants a relationship with Knight, or she is just ridiculously picky about the white guys she has sex with. But then she gets mixed signals and goes to see her kinda boyfriend, a 6' 6 basketball player. If I'm Knight, I'm legitimately afraid that I won't measure up to her ex. Maybe that's why he was trying to get with other girls, kind of like a preventive strike. So Jemmye goes to her ex's game, and is surprised to find 20 of his relatives also there, and none too happy about seeing her. Now, the socially conscious person inside of me thinks they might not like the fact that the ex never told them about a secret white girlfriend. But the cynical side says they didn't appreciate a groupie trying to get with their basketball playing son. Jemmye, next time don't dress like a Vegas cocktail waitress. At the end of the show, it is revealed Jemmye was physically abused in a past relationship (Johnny from Key West?) Knight gets upset and shows that he truly wants to be with Jemmye, thus eliminating all chance for Jemmye to do Jemmye and hook up with the New Orleans Saints offensive line.

3- McKenzie- McKenzie is on a tear, moving all the way up to her highest ranking of the season. She once again gets black out drunk off of a thimble of beer and wanders off with a real sketchy looking dude. (On lesson we can learn from this is guys can be real creepy bastards. Thank God the cameras are there because McKenzie should have been roofied or something. It's funny how in any other circumstance this would be a very very dangerous situation. Black-out drunk pretty girl and sketchy looking meth head guys feeding her shots. But throw in the cameras and now it is great tv because we know nothing truly bad will happen.

* Side note: The award for luckiest guy in New Orleans goes to the out of town surfer guy who kinda hooked up with McKenzie. He also had a history of blacking out and wasn't drinking because of it. This at the exact time McKenzie decides that her blacking out is a problem and she shouldn't drink that night. Any other night and he probably doesn't get with her because she is doing shots with the guys with three teeth. Thus, she is attracted to him because they share a unique problem. Good for that guy. I have a cynical theory that he overheard her talking about her black out problem and he made up the story. Either way, nice one.

4- Knight- First off, let me just say Knight has gone from a dud in the first episode to one of the best characters on the show. He's sneaky funny, seems like a good guy who does the right thing ultimately, and definitely is down for a good time. He is perfect for the Challenge. Bill Simmons and the czar or Reality TV, Dave Jacoby, called him a poor man's Landon. I get the comparison, but I think he is a bit more dickish than Landon. He might wind up being like Vinny, also a nice guy who can do well athletically in the Challenges, but with a larger propensity to hook up with sleazy girls.

The reason why Knight is fourth this week is he is developing a relationship with Jemmye. This is a disaster for sooooooooo many reasons. First off, you are a single guy on the Real World in New Orleans. You literally should be getting with a different girl every night. Yet you decide to only hook up with one girl, who happens to be your roommate. She clearly has some major deep rooted issues, but you ignore this. Second, you are deciding to date a girl who is very, um, let's say promiscuous. This is not the type of girl you marry, so why screw yourself over by committing to her when you should be extremely single. Third, and this is iffy, you potentially screw yourself out of being an interesting cast member. Generally speaking, the roommates who start dating wind up going out much less and isolating themselves from the rest of the house. The show runners decide to focus too much time on their relationship, which gets old after the second episode. Think Ronnie and Sammie from Jersey Shore.

The only possible way this works out for Knight is if the relationship blows up in an incredibly entertaining way (entirely possible with Jemmye) or if he has a threesome (entirely possible with Jemmye).

5-Preston- He really didn't do much this week except make another amends with Ryan. Hey, not everyone can be on every week. Preston has been great this entire season so he is due for an off show. However, next week's episode will clearly jump him up significantly in the rankings.

6- Eric/Sahar- I'm convinced the two of them went on a vacation this week. I don't think they even had any face time in the show. I'm starting to think they are not even good role players anymore. Previously I had said they were perfect role players because they can enliven situations involving other roommates, but now they aren't even doing that. They will either need to hook up or get into a big brawl at a bar. They basically need to be Robert Horry*

* For those who didn't get the reference, Robert Horry was a professional basketball player known for hitting big shots when the game was on the line. Aside from these moments, he didn't really do much in the game. Eric/Sahar can only aspire to be Robert Horry now because they aren't consistently good every week. The only way they can redeem themselves on this season is to do one crazy and outrageous thing so we forget about how mediocre they are during the rest of the season.

8- Ashlee- Truth be told I thought her name was Allison when I started writing. She is that boring. Sometimes I wonder why certain people come on this show. Ironically, Ashlee might be the only one on this show for pure reasons. When the show first started, it was about young people opening themselves up to new views and situations. It was truly about self-discovery and trying something new. Now it's all about becoming famous and getting to live in an awesome house in an awesome city and hook up with not-so-awesome people. By coming on the show for the good reasons, Ashlee has now made herself boring and a non factor. She probably doesn't care that she won't be viewed as interesting. But the people watching sure do.

I keep saying this season has the potential to be one of the best ever. But the thing that could hold the show back is the performance of Eric, Sahar, and Ashlee. It's ok to have one boring person, even two so long as they at least have some good moments. But this season has three duds. I don't think the rest of the cast can sustain my interest the entire season. Someone from these three needs to step up, bottom line. Tonight's episode can very well be the breaking point for the season. Will it go down as the best ever? Or will it be like so many other shattered dreams...of seasons. Seasons can have dreams.

Clash of the Titans? Maybe more like Beatles vs. Wham!

Part of what I attempt to do here is identify trends in the Real World so as to find out what makes a good season and what makes a waste of my time. I assume that is the same thing the producers and casting directors try to do. But with a wealth of knowledge at their disposal, why are they so hit or miss? I think they hit it out of the park with this season, but they have bombed recently with Brooklyn, DC, Hollywood, and Cancun, in my opinion. Before that, the producers were on a hot streak with Key West, Philadelphia, and Denver. Now, I don't know if these producers and casting directors stay around for extended periods of time, but let's assume for the sake of argument that some of them have been around from San Diego up until now.

What this disparity shows is that there really is only so much in their control. Aside from location, getting cooperation from the city, and picking people who are attractive, it really is all up to the cast members to make the season. Casting directors can get a good general idea of what kind of person someone is, but you have to remember, these people are auditioning. They are going to show you the best parts of their personality and hide the boring/annoying aspects. Seriously, how else could you explain some of these people getting on the show (Erica anyone?).

I figured that the best way to decipher all the nuances of a good season is to do a comparison of two seasons that were the most different in terms of enjoyment. Again, these are my personal choices were best and worst. But still, I'm betting there are some glaring differences between the seasons that can show what the formula should be for drunken shenanigans and tomfoolery.

My favorite season was San Diego and my least favorite has to be DC. Let's start there. Now, incidentally, this works out because there were a lot of similarities between the two seasons. If you rewatch all the old seasons, you notice that there are a lot of similarities between all the seasons. And i'm not even including the similarities in types of VD on the shows ( I think the same hot tub company is used and this hot tub company can kill all STD's except gonorrhea). All the people who go on the Real World share at least these basic characteristics. They are all exhibitionists, have IQ's no greater than 115, are in their early 20's, and bored with their lives. Throw in alcohol and there will generally be some common issues and activities in every house.

Let's first look at the similarities between the seasons. I think one of the most glaring differences is actually how the two casts handled the similarities (ok that was confusing. A lucid writer I am not):

The Big Moment: Every time MTV previews the new season, they make sure to highlight the one moment of the show that is supposed to get everyone talking the next day; the Big Moment. Most of the time the actual moment is way overblown and a big letdown. Sometimes there really isn't any big moment at all.

The Big Moment in San Diego was actually a few moments, specifically three arrests. That is the stuff legends are made of. These actual arrests were complimented terrifically by the other house mates choosing not to overreact to it and treat the situations humorously. They organized "Free Bad" protests and marched on San Diego (ok they didn't, but they should have. It would've been the icing on the cake).

The Big Moment in DC was Ty pushing Andrew over a small balcony. Now, this was a big deal. Andrew almost got really hurt. But here's the problem. The only likeable person on that cast was Andrew, and he didn't want to make anything out of the incident. However, all his whiny, annoying roommates did. The whole meeting after seemed over the top and boring. What should have been a big moment on the show just left me feeling angrier at the cast rather than entertained and involved in the actual incident. Yes, Ty shoving Andrew over the ledge was a very bad thing to do. But the context surrounding it suggests it was drunken antics taken too far rather than a malicious act by Ty.

The Roommate who Leaves Now, unless the roommate gets kicked out, the roommate who leaves is never a sympathetic character. They are almost always whiny and just a drag on the season. But the good thing about the San Diego season was that the rest of the cast got along and had a great time despite her. In addition, the rest of the cast was very likeable. So we were able to pick sides on who to support. Frankie, the Hot Topic girl, or the rest of the cast, who drank, hooked up, and got arrested. Easy choice.

For DC, the cast mate who left was Erika, the worst cast member ever. She complained constantly, was lazy about pursuing her singing, rubbed everyone else the wrong way, had a boyfriend back home, and constantly drew attention to herself in a negative way. This was much like Frankie. But the main difference is that the rest of the cast was just as boring and irritating. When Erika left, I wondered why she couldn't take half the cast with her.

Those were the two main similarities between the show, but they left completely different tastes in my mouth because of the casts. This is the underlining X-factor. The cast. It seems so obvious, yet it is actually masked by all the fluff surrounding it. When I say fluff, I mean the manufactured dramas. And this is where we begin delving into the differences.

One of the major differences was the cast-assigned job. For San Diego, they had to work on a boat. They all hated that job, and were able to bond over it. It's the same thing that happened during the 1980 Winter Olympics with the US hockey team. The players united over their hatred of their coach. It brought them together and they wound up winning the goal. San Diego cast bonded over their hatred of the boat job and Frankie, and they had an awesome season, winning the coveted Most Arrests and Vomiting in One Season medal.

In DC, they all pursued their own things. There was no common bond present, and many of them only got their jobs because of being on the show. The viewer tends to dislike it when people get hooked up without earning it. Many are desperate to get that internship with a sports team, or get to co-host a tv show. These guys luck into it, and then half ass the job. Maybe we can't pinpoint a specific thing and say "do this and the season will be good." But we can point to this "follow your individual dream" plot line and say this doesn't work. It had a lot to do with Hollywood being a crappy season and it also played a big part in making DC suck. Get rid of it, I say.

The Rotten Apple. This is very tough. There always is a chance there is one cast member who immediately wants to go home or just completely rubs the rest of the cast the wrong way. Ideally, you want the latter. Someone who is brash, obnoxious, wild, and an asshole. Think Puck or Ryan from this season. We still remember Puck even today, even though many people despised him both in the house and on tv. But they are interesting week in and week out. Then there is the homesick, boyfriend at home types. Now, this is very important. It is ok to have one of those people. It could actually be a good thing since it united the rest of the cast and also provides for season long drama. But what happens when you have 3 or 4 characters you hate. Well, then you have DC. Erika was despicably annoying. But Ty was a psychopath who constantly bordered on hitting a girl. Unfortunately, that girl was Emily. She also just got on my nerves. Let's then add Josh, a sleazebag who cheated on his girlfriend, then dumped her in one of the coldest ways possible. And he can't sing for shit. That's half the cast. Sure, Andrew was awesome, but the rest were just there. Nothing bad, but nothing good either.

Compare that to San Diego. Frankie was the unlikeable one, but at the same time, she was seriously sick. I actually sympathized with her through a lot of the show (Unfortunately, Frankie passed away a few years later from her disease). The rest of the cast was great, though. Brad was a meat head with a heart of gold who got drunk, got arrested, and hooked up, all while keeping a smile on his face. Cameron was straight up hot, and also up for a good time. She would go on to place 1st in the Greatest Female Real Worlder rankings. Robin got arrested, hooked up with another cast member, and was a blast. She would place in the top 10 and go on to a successful career on the Challenge. Randy was a DJ who was just a good guy without a lot of drama. Jacquese was the funniest guy on the show. And Jamie was the moral compass of the show.

So what have we learned from all this? Probably nothing we didn't already know. The bottom line is a good cast with a lot of chemistry makes for a great season. And a bad cast with no chemistry does not. Duh. But there clearly are some lessons to be learned. One sourpuss is ok, more is disaster. Also, warm scenic locations seem to be more conducive to a good time than colder, more populated cities. The cast job should be one everyone participates in, and there should not be these "follow your own path" jobs. Finally, there has to be Big Moments, but the key factor is how the cast reacts to these moments.

I see a whole lot of the San Diego season in this current incarnation of the Real World. That's why I'm so pumped for every episode. This can be one of the great ones, as there definitely seems to be some chemistry here. Add a Puck 2.0 character in Ryan and we are in for some great television. I want to talk more about San Diego later on, but for now, this will have to do. So let me know what your favorite season was, and if it holds up to my litmus test. The great thing about the Real World is that it can appeal to different people, but it is the common elements that make it appeal to us all.

Quick Update

I normally don't know what I'm going to write about until I sit down and start typing. But I have a good idea how I'm going to do things for this week, at least. Tonight, by midnight, I am going to have a new blog up. The topic is going to be the San Diego season vs. DC season and why one was so great and the other not so much. Tomorrow will be another power ranking for Back to New Orleans. Wednesday is an off day, and then Thursday will be another "Profile in Courage."

I also just figured out how to allow comments from anonymous rather than google-subscribed only accounts. This way, you can now post and not have to worry about others knowing that who you are. Again, please comment!! It is important both to let me know what you think about the blog, provide thoughts on what you want covered, and also just so I know you are out there. See you all tonight.

New Posts Coming

Just wanted to let everyone know I plan on unleashing a series of posts this coming week. So please stay tuned.