"Profiles in Courage: Tonya Cooley"

As you all know, I love the Challenge. It is the best and worst of reality television, and has proved to be a superior product to the show that spawned it, the Real World. But I must apologize to you all for a glaring oversight. You see, when I first wrote about why I love the show, I omitted the number 1 reason for the Challenge’s greatness.

Tonya Cooley.

Hear me out on this one. What makes the Challenges so amazing is how they can bring out the inner demons in everyone, whether it be one’s inner drunk, inner slut, or inner animal. On a few occasions, it successfully brings out every sing inner demon someone might have. In essence, it can ruin a person. And that person is Tonya. So for this installment of “Profiles in Courage” we look deep into the inner workings of Tonya and pinpoint what has made her so endearing to our hearts. In case you don’t have time to read all of this, here is the cliff note version: she is all kinds of crazy.

“Profiles in Courage: Tonya Cooley”

I’ll admit I was in love with Tonya Cooley. It was 2002, I was beginning college, and it was a confusing time in my life. I tell myself that’s why I fell for her and defended her against her “evil” roommates who were clearly just out to judge her and make fun because they were jealous of her awesomeness (I realize now that 18 year old me equated fake boobs with awesomeness). Looking back on it, it made no sense. Tonya was everything I despised in a Real Worlder, with the exception that she was attractive. I also can look back with hindsight and numerous examples of questionable behavior on subsequent Challenges to make her appear less attractive.

The seeds of crazy were present on the Real World: Chicago, but they were dormant. Tonya simply seemed like a small town girl who couldn’t separate herself from her roots, namely her boyfriend Justin. She spend almost all of her time on the phone with him and never bonded with the rest of the house. Tonya was clearly out of her comfort zone, as made evident by her comments on never interacting with black and gay people, and most likely Jews as well (which made Aneesa, a black, half- Jewish lesbian a real issue for Tonya). But I think the most frustrating part about Tonya was her medical problems. I don’t think she was completely faking her kidney problems. But it seemed to be a major issue for her any time she felt homesick or didn’t feel like doing something with the rest of the house. I think many of us have dealt with a person like that. They were extremely annoying or anti-social, and we really wanted to call them out on it, except there was something that just barely justified their behavior. I’m sure the other housemates wanted to call out Tonya on all her crap, but were held back because her medical problems seem just legitimate enough.

That should have been it with Tonya. She was supposed to go down as another cast member who shouldn’t have been one, like Erika from DC or Frankie from San Diego. But then a funny thing happened. Tonya dumped her boyfriend and went on a Challenge. She subsequently spiraled out of control, becoming a whore, alcoholic, and probable druggy. Her behavior became so erratic on these shows that she must have been on some serious prescription drugs.

After the Real World, Tonya had quite the illustrious career. This included the many Challenges, acting in a crappy VH1 produced movie starring other reality stars, posing for Playboy, and even performing in a low budget Scinemax soft-core porn movie. A total 180 from how she was on Real World: Chicago. As usual, I have a theory on what the hell happened to Tonya:

-So, Tonya was fairly poor and needed a lot of help paying for medical bills. In addition, being on the Real World did not help her land stable work. Her relationship with her certain-to be fiancé ended, and she needed money. So she decided to try her hand at a Challenge. On her first Challenge, she actually performed pretty well. But she also ignited some controversy by being one of the only cast members not to attend Puck’s wedding. She now had a niche and the producers had a reason to keep inviting her onto these shows. In addition, having broken up with her boyfriend and not having a good stable relationship to keep her out of trouble, she found herself partying with the other cast members. She started developing connections, except these were connections based on a game show and booze. Never good.

Since she now was becoming a regular on Challenges, she also had to supplement that with going to clubs and promoting (If you do Challenges regularly, you cannot hold down a stable job. Companies don’t like it when you take 4 month vacations). This led to even more drinking. She also must’ve developed a drug problem. It makes sense since she probably was still on medication for her kidney problems. Combine that with alcohol and you’ve got one hot mess. –

So how does one go from a wholesome girl from Walla Walla with a nice boyfriend to passed out in a taxi in Mexico with lipstick on everyone except your lips? The X factor here is the Challenge. If Tonya never gets invited on the Challenge, everything else fails to materialize. If you look at a lot of the other All-Stars from various Challenges, you’ll notice that they weren’t as gregarious when they were on their Real World season. Being on a Challenge gives you an odd sense of entitlement and confidence. Your inner asshole is free to come out. The other point is that since producers can always mix the cast up, there is a further incentive to act crazier and brasher than the year before. I mean, if it wasn’t for the Challenges, Johnny from Key West might not wind up beating his significant other.

Of course, it isn’t all fun and games. Watching the sideshow that is Tonya is ultimately sad and depressing. For all the baggage she came into the Real World with, she was still just a small town girl with a loving boyfriend who was looking for a new experience in a big city. Now look at her. Divorced, an alcoholic and possible drug addict, used up, a joke for all around her. There doesn’t seem to be a solid support system amongst her fellow Challenge cast members, the people she hopes to be friends with.

But, we have to take a light hearted view of the situation. The reality is a bit too unfortunate. And we also have to assume people like Tonya are eventually going to right the ship, that this behavior was going to manifest itself anyway, and at least that they are making more money than if they had a normal career.

So I choose to honor Tonya for all she has brought to our lives, not agonize over the tragedy that is her. I will speak fondly of the time she threw Beth’s clothing into the pool or the time she assaulted Veronica. I will wax poetically of Tonya dressing up as a wacked out quasi-prostitute with smeared lipstick for Halloween and me not knowing for a good 5 minutes that it was actually her costume and not just Tonya being Tonya.

For to be Tonya is to be brave. To make a series of calamitous life decisions and constantly embarrass yourself on national television takes a huge set of balls. Or huge pair of fake breasts. Tonya is brave, to be sure, and especially courageous. So let it be that she is most deserving of a “Profile in Courage.”

P.S. So what ever happened to her boyfriend, Justin? He's got to be the luckiest guy in America to avoid marrying that land mine.